Post by Hime Arai on Jul 5, 2011 17:35:45 GMT -6
The original idea came to me after watching LittleKuriboh's Yu-gi-Oh! Abridged series, lol. Enjoy!
The first thing Naruto did when he bought them was wonder how they could help him impress Sakura.
It was a known fact that leather pants made a guy look “sexy” (or incredibly homosexual) so Naruto wanted to give it a try.
“…what are you doing?” Sasuke had been able to come back to Konoha after all, but only if he helped clean up Konoha- every day until its reconstruction was completed. Well…it was a whole lot better than being killed.
“Getting ready for my date with Sakura!” ^w^ Oh sweet, adorable Naruto, how naïve you are!
Sasuke opened his Pepsi, taking a sip. “…she’s playing with your mind, Naruto…” Though he wouldn’t say it aloud, he knew Sakura was still in love with him. “…what about that other girl…Hinata…”
“She’s not messing with my head!” Naruto totally disregarded the Hinata comment.
“She said yes to the date, didn’t she?” Naruto was fixing his hair excitedly.
"Saying yes out of pity and actually wanting to date you are two different things, idiot." Sasuke rolled his eyes. He honestly didn't know much about girls, but Sakura was an easy one to figure out.
"At least I HAVE a date." Naruto shot back, sticking out his tongue. "You say you're straight but I haven't seen you date ANYONE ever. Are you a hermit, or just afraid to 'come out'?"
At this, Sasuke said nothing. "It's none of your business anyway..." He didn't swing that way, but otherwise, as far as Sasuke was concerned, it was none of Naruto's business that he knew next to nothing about dating, talking to girls properly, and so on, and so on. It was sad, really.
"I don't want you making any passes at me," Naruto glanced at him cautiously. "I mean," He sounded serious, "If you really ARE like that, it's okay with me as long as you don't, you know..."
"Get out." Sasuke glared at him. "You and your faggot pants."
"FAGGOT IS DERROG...DEROG..."
"Derogatory, dumbass."
"And they're not faggot pants!" The blonde winked, "They're SEX-AY!"
Sasuke gagged. "You make me want to jump out of a building..."
"DO IT THEN."
"Wouldn't waste suicide on you." He answered, making Naruto puff out his cheeks in irritation.
"WHATEVER THEN." And he slammed the door behind him. Unfortunately, Naruto didn't know that cheerful blondes weren't meant for the pants. Something ominous radiated from the leather (that did look flattering on Naruto, by the way), a dangerous something that raised Sasuke's eyebrows. He sipped his Pepsi. Nothing Naruto couldn't handle...
"Naruto! Over here!" Sakura waved at the cheery teen, her purse on her opposite arm. She'd decided to go on a date with him because she was trying to get over Sasuke. It didn't matter that Sasuke was "good" now. He would reject her anyway. There was no getting over, under, or around that fact. She just wasn't Sasuke's...."type".
"Sakura-chan!" Naruto greeted. Even Sakura, who eyed him critically, could admit that he looked exceptionally handsome today. He hadn't gone over board, and he hadn't gone under board, Naruto looked like someone that girls would make a fan club over. Of course, he'd always looked like that, but the right clothes always helped.
"The movie starts in an hour. I thought we could go shopping or something first." Sakura said, swinging her purse unconsciously. This was actually a test. If Naruto protested, Sakura knew that he wasn't "flexible" (which was a silly way to judge things), and if he went along with it, well, the date would probably be a success and she'd probably go with him on another one.
"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure." The blonde smiled, scratching the back of his head. "Where do you wanna go?"
Sakura found herself blushing. He was cute when he smiled. It was weird that she hadn't noticed that before.
He offered his arm. "Shall we, milday?" He winked.
"Naruto!" Sakura scrunched up her face, but she took the arm.
For some reason Naruto paused, moving his hips before he walked. "Heh?"
Sakura glanced at him. "What? What's wrong?"
"Oh, no, nothing." ^w^ Naruto smiled at her, but something WAS wrong. His pants felt tight all of a sudden and it was giving him a wedgie.
"Oh, okay."
Someone was following the couple as they walked through Konoha. "Hm.." Pepsi still in hand, Sasuke watched them from a seat outside the dango shop. He wouldn't buy any, but he knew the best place to hide was in plain sight. If he was right about those pants...it meant danger for Naruto. He took a swig from his pop, then stood, walking after them. He hated to admit it to himself, but he was worried. Big time.
"Hey." Someone poked Sasuke from behind.
The Uchiha glanced back, staring at the annoyance. "...."
"Why are you following Naruto and Sakura?" A girl? She had brown hair, brown eyes, and her hair was up in buns on either side of the top of her head. Sasuke thought she looked vaguely familiar. For a second he cursed himself for not being more aware of other people in the village.
"I'm not following anyone." He answered, closing his eyes. He'd been tempted to say "It's none of your business" but that would imply that he WAS following them, and that would just be stupid on his part.
"Sure you aren't." She sounded disapproving. "Just don't run away from the village again." With that she walked off, much to Sasuke's confusion.
"...." What was that about? Girls were so weird...
After shopping for a few minutes, Naruto and Sakura headed inside the theater. "Uh..." Naruto stopped, "I'm going to the bathroom first. I'll meet up with you later."
"Oh, alright. Just don't miss the movie." Sakura answered, disappearing inside the open doors.
The Jinchuriki booked to the bathroom. "SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTT...." His pants were too tight! "Holy mother of god!"
"They're starting to stifle you, aren't they?" Sasuke was leaning on the sink counter, listening.
"What the-" Naruto kicked the bathroom door open. "WHAT ARE YOU, A STALKER?!"
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I'm here to help you, idiot."
"I DON'T NEED ANY HELP FROM YOU!" He struggled in his pants.
"Really...." Sasuke watched as Naruto tried to get out of the pants. "You know," He started, "There's a saying...once you try on leather pants, you'll never go back to not wearing them..."
"WHAT?!" The blonde slipped and fell flat on his face. "ARE YOU SAYING I CAN NEVER CHANGE PANTS AGAIN!?"
"No," Sasuke closed his eyes, "I'm saying you're going to become depressed pretty soon, and not want to take those pants off."
Naruto stopped, staring at Sasuke for a moment in horror. "Wh...what are you saying?"
"If you don't get those off," Sasuke answered, "I doubt you'll be able to be cheery anymore. They suck the life out of whoever wears them." That was why he never wore leather pants. Nii-san taught him that much before leaving...
"What, do you know that from experience?" Naruto slanted his eyes at him.
"No." Sasuke stated. "It's a pure fact. I don't know how many hours it takes, but I say four, tops. How long since you put them on?"
"Two and a half...." Naruto answered, looking scared. "WH...What does that mean?"
"You have time." Sasuke answered, "But they're securely on your ass now...it'll be difficult to get them off." The raven haired boy examined his friend.
"WAIT." Naruto held up a hand. "I don't have any other parts to wear right now."
In a flourish, Sasuke pulled a pair of Naruto's jeans out of his bag. "I'm not stupid, you know."
At this, Naruto stared. "...where did you find those?"
Both of the boys seemed uncomfortable as they approached this topic. "We have other things to think about." Sasuke looked away.
"Right, right." He tugged. "I don't think I can get them off, Sasuke!"
Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut, seeming uncomfortable. Please, God, don't make me have to grab his ass and-
"I NEED HELP."
-_-;
At some point, the raven haired Uchiha was pulling on Naruto's leather pants, trying to yank them off. "You're doomed."
"THEN PULL HARDER!" Naruto cried, trying himself. He was in hysterics now so he didn't pay any mind to Sasuke's hands on his...erm...backside.
"That isn't going to help." Sasuke growled. "Stop yelling or someone will come in here."
"Then what am I supposed to do?! BE EMO!? DYE MY HAIR!? TELL SAKURA-CHAN, 'Sorry to cancel our date, but I want to go cut myself instead'?! HUH?!"
"Not a bad idea..." The brunette muttered, only to receive a kick to the face (which he neatly dodged).
"YOU'RE NOT HELPING!"
Sasuke paused, reaching into his pockets. "Hold still." And he pulled out a switchblade.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Naruto started crawling (pretty fast, actually) out of the bathroom. "YOU AREN'T TOUCHING MY ASS WITH THAT!"
"HEY!" Sasuke ran after him, "Do you want them off or not!?"
"I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE!" D< "I'M AFRAID YOU'LL CUT A CHUNK OUT OF MY ASS!"
-___- "Why the HELL would I WANT a piece of your ass?!"
"I don't know, to mount it on your wall?!"
o_e "JUST HOLD STILL."
"NO!"
Kicking and screaming, they tumbled out of the restroom, out of the theater, and onto the sidewalk. "Stop flailing, dobe!"
"YOU'D BETTER HAVE A STEADY HAND!" Naruto hollered, only to suddenly fall abruptly silent. "...why are we even struggling with this? It's hopeless anyway."
Sasuke stared at Naruto in disbelief. This coming from the guy who was surrender retarded? "....excuse me?"
"I mean..." Naruto slumped into a heap. "...it's not like I care anymore.
Sasuke met this strange speech with silence. "...Naruto...how do you feel?"
"I don't know." The blonde said, his expression dull and expressionless. "I don't feel anything."
Horror passed over Sasuke's expression. It really was happening. "Naruto..." He said, "Hold still." The switchblade edged closer to Naruto. "Please let this work..." With swift precision, Sasuke slashed a long piece of the pants, yanking them off. "I...I've got them!" He sounded triumphant.
"HUH?" Naruto blinked, on his hands and knees. "You did?"
"Sasuke?!"
Both boys froze where they were. "...Sakura?"
Sakura- and Tenten, actually- stood outside of the movie theater, looking at the boys. "What....what are you two doing!?" For some reason her face was flushed a deep crimson, though it wasn't of anger it was more of...embarrassment?
"...." For a long time, neither boy spoke. It dawned on both of them suddenly that Naruto was on his hands and knees with only his underwear on, and Sasuke was kneeling so that he was brushing up against Naruto's behind and he was holding a pair of ripped leather pants.
In short, they were doggy-style.
"S-Sakura-chan this isn't-"
"I don't want to hear it Naruto." Sakura was covering her nose. "If you didn't really want to date me, you shouldn't have asked me." And she ran into a bathroom.
Tenten stared at both of them. "Lemme guess, the pants almost sucked the life out of Naruto, got stuck, then Sasuke had to use a switchblade, which made Naruto run away and both of you ended up out here for Sakura to see this?"
Both boys nodded in shock. Remarkable.
"Well..." Tenten shrugged, "Good luck explaining." And she walked off.
After a moment of silence (and a look at the crowd that had formed around them), Naruto and Sasuke sprinted after them both. "WAIT! IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!"
The End. <3
The first thing Naruto did when he bought them was wonder how they could help him impress Sakura.
It was a known fact that leather pants made a guy look “sexy” (or incredibly homosexual) so Naruto wanted to give it a try.
“…what are you doing?” Sasuke had been able to come back to Konoha after all, but only if he helped clean up Konoha- every day until its reconstruction was completed. Well…it was a whole lot better than being killed.
“Getting ready for my date with Sakura!” ^w^ Oh sweet, adorable Naruto, how naïve you are!
Sasuke opened his Pepsi, taking a sip. “…she’s playing with your mind, Naruto…” Though he wouldn’t say it aloud, he knew Sakura was still in love with him. “…what about that other girl…Hinata…”
“She’s not messing with my head!” Naruto totally disregarded the Hinata comment.
“She said yes to the date, didn’t she?” Naruto was fixing his hair excitedly.
"Saying yes out of pity and actually wanting to date you are two different things, idiot." Sasuke rolled his eyes. He honestly didn't know much about girls, but Sakura was an easy one to figure out.
"At least I HAVE a date." Naruto shot back, sticking out his tongue. "You say you're straight but I haven't seen you date ANYONE ever. Are you a hermit, or just afraid to 'come out'?"
At this, Sasuke said nothing. "It's none of your business anyway..." He didn't swing that way, but otherwise, as far as Sasuke was concerned, it was none of Naruto's business that he knew next to nothing about dating, talking to girls properly, and so on, and so on. It was sad, really.
"I don't want you making any passes at me," Naruto glanced at him cautiously. "I mean," He sounded serious, "If you really ARE like that, it's okay with me as long as you don't, you know..."
"Get out." Sasuke glared at him. "You and your faggot pants."
"FAGGOT IS DERROG...DEROG..."
"Derogatory, dumbass."
"And they're not faggot pants!" The blonde winked, "They're SEX-AY!"
Sasuke gagged. "You make me want to jump out of a building..."
"DO IT THEN."
"Wouldn't waste suicide on you." He answered, making Naruto puff out his cheeks in irritation.
"WHATEVER THEN." And he slammed the door behind him. Unfortunately, Naruto didn't know that cheerful blondes weren't meant for the pants. Something ominous radiated from the leather (that did look flattering on Naruto, by the way), a dangerous something that raised Sasuke's eyebrows. He sipped his Pepsi. Nothing Naruto couldn't handle...
"Naruto! Over here!" Sakura waved at the cheery teen, her purse on her opposite arm. She'd decided to go on a date with him because she was trying to get over Sasuke. It didn't matter that Sasuke was "good" now. He would reject her anyway. There was no getting over, under, or around that fact. She just wasn't Sasuke's...."type".
"Sakura-chan!" Naruto greeted. Even Sakura, who eyed him critically, could admit that he looked exceptionally handsome today. He hadn't gone over board, and he hadn't gone under board, Naruto looked like someone that girls would make a fan club over. Of course, he'd always looked like that, but the right clothes always helped.
"The movie starts in an hour. I thought we could go shopping or something first." Sakura said, swinging her purse unconsciously. This was actually a test. If Naruto protested, Sakura knew that he wasn't "flexible" (which was a silly way to judge things), and if he went along with it, well, the date would probably be a success and she'd probably go with him on another one.
"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure." The blonde smiled, scratching the back of his head. "Where do you wanna go?"
Sakura found herself blushing. He was cute when he smiled. It was weird that she hadn't noticed that before.
He offered his arm. "Shall we, milday?" He winked.
"Naruto!" Sakura scrunched up her face, but she took the arm.
For some reason Naruto paused, moving his hips before he walked. "Heh?"
Sakura glanced at him. "What? What's wrong?"
"Oh, no, nothing." ^w^ Naruto smiled at her, but something WAS wrong. His pants felt tight all of a sudden and it was giving him a wedgie.
"Oh, okay."
Someone was following the couple as they walked through Konoha. "Hm.." Pepsi still in hand, Sasuke watched them from a seat outside the dango shop. He wouldn't buy any, but he knew the best place to hide was in plain sight. If he was right about those pants...it meant danger for Naruto. He took a swig from his pop, then stood, walking after them. He hated to admit it to himself, but he was worried. Big time.
"Hey." Someone poked Sasuke from behind.
The Uchiha glanced back, staring at the annoyance. "...."
"Why are you following Naruto and Sakura?" A girl? She had brown hair, brown eyes, and her hair was up in buns on either side of the top of her head. Sasuke thought she looked vaguely familiar. For a second he cursed himself for not being more aware of other people in the village.
"I'm not following anyone." He answered, closing his eyes. He'd been tempted to say "It's none of your business" but that would imply that he WAS following them, and that would just be stupid on his part.
"Sure you aren't." She sounded disapproving. "Just don't run away from the village again." With that she walked off, much to Sasuke's confusion.
"...." What was that about? Girls were so weird...
After shopping for a few minutes, Naruto and Sakura headed inside the theater. "Uh..." Naruto stopped, "I'm going to the bathroom first. I'll meet up with you later."
"Oh, alright. Just don't miss the movie." Sakura answered, disappearing inside the open doors.
The Jinchuriki booked to the bathroom. "SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTT...." His pants were too tight! "Holy mother of god!"
"They're starting to stifle you, aren't they?" Sasuke was leaning on the sink counter, listening.
"What the-" Naruto kicked the bathroom door open. "WHAT ARE YOU, A STALKER?!"
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I'm here to help you, idiot."
"I DON'T NEED ANY HELP FROM YOU!" He struggled in his pants.
"Really...." Sasuke watched as Naruto tried to get out of the pants. "You know," He started, "There's a saying...once you try on leather pants, you'll never go back to not wearing them..."
"WHAT?!" The blonde slipped and fell flat on his face. "ARE YOU SAYING I CAN NEVER CHANGE PANTS AGAIN!?"
"No," Sasuke closed his eyes, "I'm saying you're going to become depressed pretty soon, and not want to take those pants off."
Naruto stopped, staring at Sasuke for a moment in horror. "Wh...what are you saying?"
"If you don't get those off," Sasuke answered, "I doubt you'll be able to be cheery anymore. They suck the life out of whoever wears them." That was why he never wore leather pants. Nii-san taught him that much before leaving...
"What, do you know that from experience?" Naruto slanted his eyes at him.
"No." Sasuke stated. "It's a pure fact. I don't know how many hours it takes, but I say four, tops. How long since you put them on?"
"Two and a half...." Naruto answered, looking scared. "WH...What does that mean?"
"You have time." Sasuke answered, "But they're securely on your ass now...it'll be difficult to get them off." The raven haired boy examined his friend.
"WAIT." Naruto held up a hand. "I don't have any other parts to wear right now."
In a flourish, Sasuke pulled a pair of Naruto's jeans out of his bag. "I'm not stupid, you know."
At this, Naruto stared. "...where did you find those?"
Both of the boys seemed uncomfortable as they approached this topic. "We have other things to think about." Sasuke looked away.
"Right, right." He tugged. "I don't think I can get them off, Sasuke!"
Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut, seeming uncomfortable. Please, God, don't make me have to grab his ass and-
"I NEED HELP."
-_-;
At some point, the raven haired Uchiha was pulling on Naruto's leather pants, trying to yank them off. "You're doomed."
"THEN PULL HARDER!" Naruto cried, trying himself. He was in hysterics now so he didn't pay any mind to Sasuke's hands on his...erm...backside.
"That isn't going to help." Sasuke growled. "Stop yelling or someone will come in here."
"Then what am I supposed to do?! BE EMO!? DYE MY HAIR!? TELL SAKURA-CHAN, 'Sorry to cancel our date, but I want to go cut myself instead'?! HUH?!"
"Not a bad idea..." The brunette muttered, only to receive a kick to the face (which he neatly dodged).
"YOU'RE NOT HELPING!"
Sasuke paused, reaching into his pockets. "Hold still." And he pulled out a switchblade.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Naruto started crawling (pretty fast, actually) out of the bathroom. "YOU AREN'T TOUCHING MY ASS WITH THAT!"
"HEY!" Sasuke ran after him, "Do you want them off or not!?"
"I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE!" D< "I'M AFRAID YOU'LL CUT A CHUNK OUT OF MY ASS!"
-___- "Why the HELL would I WANT a piece of your ass?!"
"I don't know, to mount it on your wall?!"
o_e "JUST HOLD STILL."
"NO!"
Kicking and screaming, they tumbled out of the restroom, out of the theater, and onto the sidewalk. "Stop flailing, dobe!"
"YOU'D BETTER HAVE A STEADY HAND!" Naruto hollered, only to suddenly fall abruptly silent. "...why are we even struggling with this? It's hopeless anyway."
Sasuke stared at Naruto in disbelief. This coming from the guy who was surrender retarded? "....excuse me?"
"I mean..." Naruto slumped into a heap. "...it's not like I care anymore.
Sasuke met this strange speech with silence. "...Naruto...how do you feel?"
"I don't know." The blonde said, his expression dull and expressionless. "I don't feel anything."
Horror passed over Sasuke's expression. It really was happening. "Naruto..." He said, "Hold still." The switchblade edged closer to Naruto. "Please let this work..." With swift precision, Sasuke slashed a long piece of the pants, yanking them off. "I...I've got them!" He sounded triumphant.
"HUH?" Naruto blinked, on his hands and knees. "You did?"
"Sasuke?!"
Both boys froze where they were. "...Sakura?"
Sakura- and Tenten, actually- stood outside of the movie theater, looking at the boys. "What....what are you two doing!?" For some reason her face was flushed a deep crimson, though it wasn't of anger it was more of...embarrassment?
"...." For a long time, neither boy spoke. It dawned on both of them suddenly that Naruto was on his hands and knees with only his underwear on, and Sasuke was kneeling so that he was brushing up against Naruto's behind and he was holding a pair of ripped leather pants.
In short, they were doggy-style.
"S-Sakura-chan this isn't-"
"I don't want to hear it Naruto." Sakura was covering her nose. "If you didn't really want to date me, you shouldn't have asked me." And she ran into a bathroom.
Tenten stared at both of them. "Lemme guess, the pants almost sucked the life out of Naruto, got stuck, then Sasuke had to use a switchblade, which made Naruto run away and both of you ended up out here for Sakura to see this?"
Both boys nodded in shock. Remarkable.
"Well..." Tenten shrugged, "Good luck explaining." And she walked off.
After a moment of silence (and a look at the crowd that had formed around them), Naruto and Sasuke sprinted after them both. "WAIT! IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!"
The End. <3